The first one is....
Ala. man fights to keep wife buried in front yard
Apparently she doesn't like being buried. "Stay down there bitch."
Next....
Texas woman suing Dallas Cowboys over 'burned buttocks'
Okay, here's the gist, she sits on a marble bench outside the Dallas Cowboys stadium and says it burned her ass so bad she had 3rd degree burns and had to have skin grafts.
My Ass burns...my Ass burns...Well, stick it out the window and cool it off.
