Feelings

Have you ever been doing something or driving somewhere and had a feeling you can’t explain? Here is an essay by Gerard Vanderleun that might explain those weird feelings. Just a taste:

We know it will never happen in our house because, as humans, we have an almost limitless ability to forget any hint of ‘could’ when it comes to horror. In those few moments when our forgetfulness fails us, we remain secure in our belief that we would never do such things to those we love. We know to an absolute certainty that anyone who could must not have been “in his right mind.”

That’s a common but still strange phrase — “not in his right mind.” Everyone uses it as shorthand for things people do that are, large or small, somehow far outside what we normally expect them to do. Nobody that I know of takes it to the other side of that common phrase and looks at what a person does when he’s “in his wrong mind.”

Our right mind doesn’t like to think it’s got a wrong mind. It doesn’t like to think it because it does indeed have one, and it is hardwired. Each of our right minds has a wrong mind and we are, with good reason, very, very frightened of it. So frightened that we don’t think of it because to even think of our wrong mind gives it power, and it has far too much of that already. It has so much power that, once the wrong mind starts to control us, it takes, as they say, “a power greater than ourselves to restore us to sanity.”

I grow increasingly uncertain about many things in this life, but of that one thing I once became, and today remain, certain of without a scintilla of smidgen of a doubt. Like most men, I tend to forget about that greater power when mucking about in the detritus of daily life. That really doesn’t matter. Sooner or later I am always given a miraculous moment on the small scale of ordinary life that lets me know in no uncertain terms that, for human beings, only “a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.”

I know that this invisible power exists because I have seen it.

You must read the whole thing.

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