Shameless

aurorawatcherak

My wife is shameless, I’ve realized.

Hi, this is Brad posting, by the way.

Lela and I have been having a conversation with a friend about shame versus guilt in 21 century America and, in the course, of that conversation, I’ve realized that Lela won’t be shamed into changing her mind about almost anything. I, on the other hand ….

One of the things you learn in 12 Step work is that we alcoholics (addicts of any sort, really) filter everything through a lens of shame. This is often described to me as feeling you’re not adequate or being embarrassed by where you come from or your past. Guilt is said to grow out of shame, but I’ve always felt that wasn’t quite right because having a conscience is not, in my opinion, a bad thing. It’s what the Christian group the Newsboys called “a circuit judge.” When someone doesn’t…

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