I’m A Blog Virgin…UpDated

‘Like Losing Your Virginity …’.

Stacy tells us how it felt to get his first “Instalanche” and how to bar fight a bunch of beer swilling political pundits;

Unless, of course, somebody slips rohypnol in your drink at a party and you wake up the next morning with 10,000 new readers, trolls all over your comments, and a vague sense of guilty pleasure.

The same young blogger who wrote to Doug Ross sent me an e-mail seeking my advice and I replied, in part:

“Always drink beer in a bottle, because if a fight breaks out, you’ve got a weapon right there in your hand. Smash the bottom of the bottle against the bar, brandish the jagged shards like a knife (what they call a ‘Puerto Rican switchblade’) and loudly threaten to slice the throat of the first motherf—-r that gets in your way while you move warily toward the door.”

Do that just once at a Heritage Foundation cocktail reception, and the motherf—-rs won’t dare cause you trouble again.

Also, chicks dig it.

Update; Doug Ross has weighed in with his “rules” for blogging and they work for the most part. Just remember, the story you pass up could be the one that might have given you that “Instalanche” rush you so crave. Here are the rules, make of them what you will;

C, here are my top 10 rules on the delicate topic of blogging.

10. Always link to stories on blogs around your size and smaller than yours — to paraphrase Glenn Reynolds, you need an “Army of Davids” to help support your mission.

One of those rules that’s inviolable. Here’s another tip– even before you start your own blog, frequent other blogs, make comments and get your name out there. It will help give you a leg up. Kind of like when a salesman schmoozes you with a round of golf or an expensive lunch, hoping to make a sale, you’ve got to sell yourself.

9. Always link to larger blogs: you never know when the likes of Hot Air, Instapundit or Michelle Malkin — incredibly prolific consumers of media — will notice and, perhaps someday, post a link to your site. Like losing your virginity, you will never forget your first Instalanche.

It takes a long time sometimes, but it’s worth the wait, or so I’ve been told.

8. Always remember to thank those who link you or provide the sources for your stories, unless of course they prefer to remain anonymous. Here is an example of how I do it: “Hat tip: Gateway Pundit.”

This rule is like the rule of “i” before “e” except after “c”- one of those inviolable rules that you just don’t break.

7. As for unconventional news stories that might pique your interest, my favorite sources for the offbeat are Drudge Report, Memeorandum and TrendingRight. Using Twitter and Facebook — both for collecting news stories as well as providing updates to your followers (see TwitterFeed) — is crucial as well.

Getting Twitter really helped me increase my hits, plus it will give you a headsup on breaking stories, depending on who you “follow.” I always hit Drudge and Memeorandum and check out Trending Right, also by the esteemed Doug Ross to see what’s hot and what’s not.

6. Post a blog-roll and keep it up-to-date. This will come in handy when the previous suggestion doesn’t tickle your fancy.

I have over a hundred links on my blogroll and it’s a small one compared to others. Sometimes you have to pick and choose which blogs you read and which ones you maybe only peek at two or three times a week. ( These are usually the ones that only post one or two articles a week.)

5. If you’re so inclined, keep an updated list of headlines like Sister Toldjah or Weasel Zippers; these are stories that may not merit a story, but still deserve your readers’ attention.

This is one that I haven’t done yet, not because I haven’t tried, but because I’m a computer idiot. 😉

4. Try to keep content fresh and stories flowing, even if it means running a group blog or having guest bloggers. People don’t visit sites that are static. If nothing changes between visits, there’s really not a reason to surf to your site. As for myself, each day since January 9, 2009, I’ve posted Larwyn’s Linx, my roundup of important stories. No matter what else is happening, regular readers can at least get a daily snapshot of my favorite articles.

Don’t be afraid to post a music video or a funny you tube video if you don’t see any news that interests you on a particular day, or just link a story from another blogger, giving proper credit, of course.

3. Have a specialty that you love and are passionate about. Ed Driscoll and Noel Sheppard enjoy exposing the hypocrisy of legacy media. Fausta Wertz uses her multilingual abilities to provide expert news and analysis of Latin America. Black Five tackles defense and intelligence issues. Zero Hedge and Mish cut to the chase when it comes to the economy. Ace o’ Spades uses brilliant, caustic humor to savage the left. Expertise plus passion equals kerploding traffic numbers!

Or not- some people just can’t find that special niche. If that’s the case, then just post any story that piques your fancy and add some of your own thoughts. But do your research- nothing worse than posting a story for everyone to see and finding a factual error after your post is already out there in cyberspace. Remember, the internet is like your wife, it never forgets and it’s out there forever.

2. Avoid internecine warfare if at all possible. Like any relationship, bloggers can have fallings-out. One of the more famous instances was the 2009 showdown between Atlas Shrugs, JihadWatch and LGF over the loyalties of European anti-Jihad groups. Had I really cared about European anti-Jihad groups, I would have researched the issue and weighed in. As it turned out, I didn’t let the issue sway my opinions of any of the bloggers. That is, until LGF’s Charles (author of my favorite blogging software) executed an ideological 180-degree turn. Even then, I’ve mostly just de-linked LGF as opposed to pillorying it. I have better things to do, like saving this Republic.

Worse thing you can do is get in a pissing contest with another like minded blogger, especially if they have a large following. Your life will become a living hell. But feel free to piss all you want on the opposition blogs, specifically Media Matters and Think Progress- You’ll have to find those links yourself. 😉

1. Read Robert Stacy McCain’s “How to Get a Million Hits on Your Blog in Less Than a Year “, a neatly executed Tour de force on ramping your blog viewership.

For sure, read Stacy McCain’s. Not only is it chock full of good blogging tips, it’s also entertaining as hell.

Although I eschew Rule 5 because my wife gets pissed off for religious reasons.

Ya, I don’t do a lot of rule 5 because of religion either…wink wink.

And The Lonely Conservative can also give one tips on how to make friends and influence enemies. She’s helped me out a lot. Thanks!